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Lauds Computer Industry
CALIFORNIA Satan, the Prince of Evil, cunningly disguised as a
delegate at an information technology conference, expressed his delight at the
opportunities the computer industry had created for the spread of evil. He said the
industry had taken the torch of profit through the ignorance of others
from the motor repair industry and gone further than anyone could have imagined.
Reiki Practioners In Bid To
Heal The World
JOHANNESBURG A group of approximately
twenty-five people will make an ambitious bid to rid the world of all evil, suffering and
bad luck this Sunday. The group, known as The Healing Hands, will attempt to use the
ancient healing art of Reiki to accomplish the feat.
...David Beckham had taken up darts instead of
- Becks marries massive pop-starlet and winner of Idols,
Michelle McManus to become one of the UK's most talked about celebrity couples.
- Dozens of waitresses from the Manchester area claim to have
slepts with Becks.
- Thousands of darts fanatics get weekly armpit-hair styling to
match that of their hero's
- A Box-Office hit movie gets released about a young indian girl
dreaming of hitting the big dart leagues of London called, "Peg it like
Rumsfeld Had Fingers Crossed
WASHINGTON D.C A video recording of the Senate Armed Services committee hearing has
shown that U.S Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, had his fingers crossed for the
duration of the hearing. This evidence has cast new doubts on the veracity of
Rumsfelds testimony, including his apology to Iraqi prisoners that were abused by
U.S military personnel.
The video, taken by a security camera installed in the building after 9/11, clearly shows
Rumsfelds hand under the table with his fingers crossed. Opponents of
Rumsfelds views on the war in Iraq have used the video to further back up their
claims that Rumsfeld is frequently less than honest with his countrymen.
At a press conference yesterday Rumsfeld questioned the authenticity of the video, but, at
the same time, he did not deny its accuracy. This video could easily have been
manufactured by those who hate our freedoms and human rights. Although I should add that I
sometimes cross my fingers for good luck when I have to answer questions from senators.
They can be quite tough.
Snakes and Ladders SA Berates Media
PORT ELIZABETH Snakes and Ladders South Africa (SLSA), the official body
representing competitive snakes and ladders players in South Africa, complained on Friday
that their bid for the Snakes and Ladders World Cup was not receiving support from the
All you see and hear in the media is about the Soccer World Cup in 2010. The Snakes
and Ladders World Cup will be in 2006 but Ive yet to see even one newspaper report
publicising our bid. I know snakes and ladders is not a mainstream sport, but it is played
in even more countries than soccer. To have it here in Port Elizabeth would be a massive
boost for the local economy, said SLSA bid chairman Jake The Snake
Chiliza has invited the media to the launch of the new Super 7 snakes and
ladders competition on Saturday, which is aimed at making the game more exciting by using
a new seven-sided dice and some pretty crazy combinations of snakes and