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A roughly weekly dose of humour.

Not for under 18's or the easily offended!

South African Satire

Issue 5,  April 2004   [Subscribe]



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Deceased Al-Qaida Suicide Bombers Hijack John Edwards Show

edwardsS.jpg (2598 bytes)CALIFORNIA – Deceased Al-Qaida suicide bombers disrupted the John Edwards show here last Thursday. Edwards, whose television show is based on his ability to communicate with the dead relatives of studio guests, was shocked when the former suicide bombers dominated other spirit-voices to have their say.

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Anderson Executives Start Accounting School

andersonS.jpg (2991 bytes)NEW YORK - Disgraced executives of former consulting firm Arthur Anderson have turned their misfortune around and founded a new school of business ethics. The school, called the Arthur Anderson Institute of Accounting, will base its curriculum on what the executives term “Generally Unaccepted Accounting Practices” or GUAP.  Read More>>

What If ?

..Drew Carrey's show "Whose line is it anyway" were hosted in South Africa?

"Welcome to 'Whose line is it anyway'. The show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right. The points are like..."

  • "Street signs to a taxi driver."
  • "The National Party's decision to run in the General Elections."
  • "The concept of punctuality to a Capetonian."
  • "The Cats in the Super 12."
  • "Felicia Mabuza-Suttle's opinion."

Suggest your own "What If"!  (you will be credited for it)

Other Articles

Nerdy Engineer Suddenly Becomes Popular

LADYSMITH – “Everybody likes me now! It’s so cool. And I mean it’s not only the okes, but the chicks too!” said Thompson Thomas. Thomas, 27, who owns his own mechanical engineering consultancy, was best known in his university days for his pocket-protector, and the particular order he kept the different colour pens in his pocket.

Thomas’s fortunes changed not long after his purchase of a Porsche 911 Turbo. He described it as “wonderful” that his dream of people finally appreciating him for his personality came true so soon after he acquired his dream car.

“Look, I know it may not be a total coincidence. I have started listening to my assertiveness-training tapes. They must be working. How else can you explain all the attention I get from women? I’m telling you, it’s all about personality baby, yeah!”

Drag Racer Finally Proved Wrong

BENONI – Local drag racer, Deon Jacobs, finally settled a year-long argument over the accuracy of the saying “speed kills” with his friend Adrian when he lost control of his car and died on the weekend.

“Adrian wasn’t happy with Deon’s fast driving so they were always at each other’s throats over that saying. Deon insisted that it was perfectly safe to drive at any speed as long as you were a good driver. Adrian used to argue that there were limits to what car or driver could do at the speeds Deon used to drive. When that cat stepped into the road I guess it didn’t take Deon long to realise that Adrian was right – you just can’t stop a car going at 200km/h in fifty meters. Unless you hit a concrete barrier, which is what Deon did. Anyway, the bottom line is that Adrian was right, and we won’t have to hear them bickering about it anymore”, said Elvis Fourie, a mutual friend.

When contacted Adrian said that he was glad to be proven right at last, but that it was “just a little shitty seeing as how he had to die to prove my point.”

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