|God Apologises for
CAPE TOWN Speaking from the top of Table Mountain in a rare appearance
earlier today, God apologised to the nation for Apartheid and about 300 years of racial
Newsgroup Ignores New New
New National Party
DURBAN - The Independent Newspapers group has decided to stop printing
articles referring to the New New New National Party (NNNNP). Derrick Bleys, spokesperson
for the group, said that the reasons for this drastic action were varied...
Maya The Bee Murdered By Killer Bees
KRUGER NATIONAL PARK The worlds most famous bee, Maya The Bee, was brutally
murdered by killer bees while on holiday here. Maya, originally from Japan, was
world-renowned for her friendly demeanour. It was a cruel act of irony that this
friendliness was responsible for her gruesome death.
The incident occurred while Maya was
on safari in the game park with some of her insect friends from abroad. Maya apparently
caught site of a beehive, and, without thinking, flew towards it to make her first
acquaintance with African bees. Maya, a European honeybee, was unaware of the aggressive
nature of African honeybees, or killer bees as they are more commonly known. The
indigenous bees apparently swarmed Maya, tearing her limbs from her body and stinging her
in both eyes.
A spokesperson for the park blamed Mayas sheltered
upbringing for not making her aware of the nature of her African cousins. She is survived
by her hive-queen mother, 10023 hive sisters, and 21 hive brothers.
Felicia Nominates Herself for
The Order Of Luthuli
JOHANESSBURG Celebrity talk show host
Felicia Mabuza-Suttle has nominated herself for the prestigious Order of Luthuli award. According to a government website, the award is
presented to citizens for making a meaningful contribution to the struggle for
democracy, human rights, nation-building, justice and peace, and conflict
Felicia was most recently in the public eye
after a controversy which had e-tv claiming it ended her show Felicia, and
Felicia claiming she stopped of her own accord.
Now that the show is over I will move
to the USA to be with my family. Since nobody
else is prepared to recognise the sacrifices I made to bring unity and love to my
countrys people, I have decided to nominate myself for the Order. I have every confidence my nomination will be
successful. I will return to South Africa for
the awards ceremony where my beaming smile will shine a light of righteous anger into the
eyes of Phat Joe and all those who've denied my magnificence, said Felicia.
She said that her brand of eyewear,
Felicias Eyewear, would continue to be sold in SA in her absence.