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Rath Health Foundation Makes New Scientific Leap
The Rath Foundation made a scientific breakthrough recently after it
released results of its latest study into the use of Rath Multi-vitamins to cure amputees.
Matthias Rath, the head of the foundation, announced that clinical trials at the
foundations state-of-the-art secret mountain hideaway and laboratory had proven that
Rath Multivitamins cured sufferers of full and partial amputations in 67.2% of all cases
New Policy Is Honesty
JOHANNESBURG - The shake-up of insurance
companies by government is finally being taken seriously. Several recent rulings against
Sanlam and other big South African companies have given the management of these companies
a serious wake-up call.
Confused about life? Relationship or career not working out?
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In this case, our Recce Commando will help you out - just mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org. We will answer as many questions as possible right here. (For
those of you who don't know, a recce commando is a South African soldier much like a navy
seal or SAS commando, only better)
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Jedi Mind Tricks Useless As Mbeki Forced to Fire Zuma
PRETORIA the sjambok has learned that a desperate President Thabo Mbeki
tried in vain several times to use Jedi mind tricks to get the ex-Deputy President Jacob
Zuma to resign on his own, ultimately forcing him to fire Zuma in parliament.
Widely criticised for not acting sooner after the outcome of the Schabir Shaik trial, it
is now understood that Mbeki was in fact trying to persuade Zuma to resign
voluntarily using Jedi mind tricks.
Although it could not be independently confirmed, a sjambok source indicated that
Zuma was able to resist Mbekis mind tricks because he had in fact been schooled in
the use of The Force after being turned to the Dark Side by Shaik. According to the source
it was Zumas own use of mind tricks that allowed him to sway the minds of government
procurement officials to favour Shaiks companies when awarding tenders.
Mbekis situation, and indeed the fate of all good people in South Africa, now seems
tenuous as it is plainly obvious that Zuma has extended the influence of the Dark Side
over a large number of regional ANC leaders, COSATU, and the ANC Youth and Womens
World Peace No Longer As Important At Miss World Pageant
New York Peace activists have noted with alarm the decline of the emphasis placed
on world peace by Miss World contestants in recent years.
Bernard McCullough, of the US-based activist group Peace Now, reported that in
his in-depth analysis of Miss World contestant answers regarding current issues, world
peace had slipped to a distant twenty-four on the list over the last ten years.
Girls are more worried about safe issues like saving the whales or panda
bears and making sure children play less computer games. Some are concerned about peace,
but these contestants are usually from war-ravaged countries and even then theyre
only concerned about peace in their own little corner of the world, said McCullough.
McCullough cited a number of possible reasons for this: It could just be that the
whole world peace thing has become a bit of a cliché at the pageant. On the other hand,
it may be that contestants are afraid that speaking out against war may be seen as
speaking out against America, and, as you know, youre either with us or against us.
Generally being against us is only possible for celebrities that are already very
Peace Now has promised to raise the issue with the pageants organizers.
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