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Fails To Score Despite Being Irresistible
JOHANNESBURG - Joe Derrick of Bedfordview, Johannesburg yesterday
expressed shock and dismay at his failure to make intimate contact with any member of the
opposite sex despite being blatantly irresistible.
Borderline Psychos A Bad Name
JOHANESSBURG Isidingo, the popular South
African soap opera, came under fire yesterday for the excessive demonizing of
psychotic people by a special interest group called Slightly Unbalanced (SU).
The leader of SU, Alex Heberling, accused Isidingo of putting all psychotic people
into the same straightjacket by its frequent use of evil psychotic characters
who only terrorise the popular characters.
Olympic Hammer Thrower Tells Of Irritation
ATHENS, GREECE Speaking in an exclusive interview with the sjambok at the Olympic
Village, American hammer thrower, James Parker, spoke of his extreme frustration at having
to describe his chosen sport to most people he meets.
Its always something like What?or
Thats funny! What do you really do? Which is usually followed by
Wow. I didnt know that was an actual sport. And some kind of stupid
question like So what kind of hammers do you throw? or Isnt that
dangerous?, explained Parker.
Its just so damned irritating! Ive lost count over how many times
Ive described the hammer-throw to ignorant people. Sometimes I just tell people I do
weight lifting. But thats also getting on my nerves, cos then they ask me if I
take steroids. One of these days my hammer is going to turn up as the principal exhibit in
a murder case involving some dumbass. Even then, Ill probably have to explain
hammer-throw to the jury.
Unfortunately Parker did not qualify for the finals, and plans on returning to America and
tell people he went on holiday to Greece.
Tractor-mechanic Surprised At Indians
DURBAN Twenty-five year old Free State tractor-mechanic, Frikkie Du Toit, described
his surprise at how different Indians in Durban were from his expectations, during a phone
call to his mother on Thursday.
Du Toit, who was on his first trip outside the Free State, called his mother to tell her
about Durban and the sea, but could not help but tell her about how civilized
many of the Indians he met were.
He expressed his surprise that most Indian women did not wear saris like in the
Bollywood movies on SABC3 and that most Indians spoke English better than him.
Du Toit also spoke of his visit to the popular H2O nightclub where he was quite shocked
that Indians drank and danced to Western music since he thought these were supposed to be
evil for Indians, and the reason for September 9/11. However; he was most
happy that so many people complimented him on the new white safari suit he bought for his