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Archeologists
Discover Reason For Pyramids
 GIZA, EGYPT – British archeologists working at the pyramids in Giza
made a breakthrough when they discovered a stone tablet explaining in explicit detail the
pharaohs’ reasons for building the pyramids. “It’s all just a big practical
joke!” said Prof. Michael Pearce. “As it turns out, the pharaohs wanted a
practical joke that would last millennia and please the hitherto unknown god of jokes,
Ha”.. Read More>>
Van Schalkwyk Releases Pop
Album
 CAPE TOWN - New National Party Leader Marthinus
"Kortbroek" van Schalkwyk announced at a press conference Monday that he would
be releasing a new CD entitled ‘Koel Kortbroek Treffers (Vol 1)’.
Read More>>
Isrealis And Palestinians Kill Each Other Again
MIDDLE EAST – the sjambok Middle East correspondent reported that Israelis
and Palestinians continued to kill each other this week. Despite higher than average
casualty figures on both sides, neither side has shown any drop in morale.
In revenge of a revenge of a revenge of a revenge attack, some Palestinians killed some
Israeli soldiers and innocent civilians. Sources indicated that the assailants hoped that
by killing the Israelis, they would force the State of Israel into recognizing their
claims to land, independence, human rights etc.
Israel swiftly rejected their claims by launching raids into Palestine in revenge of the
revenge attack. During the raids the Israeli Defense Force (IDF) killed some armed
Palestinians, as well as some innocent civilians. A spokesperson for the IDF said that
they hoped that this time would be special, and the Palestinians would stop attacking them
in future.
Our Middle East correspondent, however, reported his sources indicated the region would
experience a severe case of déjà vu, again.
Man Wishes He Had Made His Move
JOHANESSBURG – Alan McCall described his extreme disappointment at not having made a
move on a gorgeous blonde he had been watching for over two hours on Saturday night.
McCall’s hopes of making the blonde’s acquaintance were dashed when another man
beat him to it.
“I saw her as soon as I entered the bar. Man, she was hot! You know, the kind of
chick you see in FHM. I didn’t want to approach her straight away – I thought
that if I had a few drinks first, I would come off a little smoother when I talked to her.
Anyway, I just kinda got stuck looking at her. I kept telling myself I would go up to her
just now.”
McCall had apparently just got off his bar stool to make his way towards the blonde when
another bar patron got to her first.
“You know I was about to make my move and this heavy, rugby player-looking guy walked
right up to her and starting chatting her up. Anyway, she must have been a total slut,
‘cos half an hour later she was pulling into him like he was the last man on Earth
– I was so disappointed. Maybe, if I’m lucky I’ll see her there again and
I’ll be boozed already.”
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