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Chiefs Invite Environmentalists Over For A Smoke
DURBAN The managers of Durbans two oil refineries invited
environmental groups in Durban to the SAPREF oil refinery to smoke the proverbial peace
pipe in this case a hubbly-bubbly attached to one of the refinerys
smokestacks. The invitation was aimed at smoothing over relations with environmentalists
and the local community. At the same time, the managers also hoped to prove that refinery
emissions are not as toxic as generally believed. Read More>>
Prostitutes Excited At
CAPE TOWN Prostitutes across the country have
expressed their delight at South Africas successful bid to host the soccer World Cup
in 2010. We are going to make sure the players arent the only ones who
score, said Angel, a local prostitute. Along with tourism and other sectors of the
economy, the prostitution industry is set to make massive profits with the influx of
foreign soccer fans. Read More>>
Telkom Wins Monopoly Advertising Award
PRETORIA Thank you very much, I just want to say: Telkom rules!! These
were the words of Telkom Chief Marketing Officer, Andre Van Zyl, when he accepted the
Lourie advertising award for Best Advertisement By A Monopoly.
Telkom is the sole provider of most telecommunications services in South Africa, and is
also the major shareholder of cellular phone service provider, Vodacom.
We at Telkoms marketing department have striven hard to come up with a series
of advertisements that make the public aware of the crucial role we play in the country,
and why they should be grateful for us, said Van Zyl at a press briefing after the
awards. Look, obviously we downplay the fact that people have no other choice. I
mean we are a monopoly, but thats the brilliant part of our ad campaign the
fact that were a monopoly means people have to be even more grateful for us, because
if werent there, thered be nobody. So our ads have even more punch.
When questioned, most consumer rights advocacy groups said they werent quite sure if
Telkom understood that the award was in fact not altogether complimentary
Foreign Affairs Hires SABC Talk Show Hosts
JOHANNESBURG The Ministry of Foreign Affairs has hired numerous SABC talk show
hosts to teach diplomats the fine art of asking agreeable questions.
Diplomats have caused the ministry much trouble and embarrassment in the recent past as a
result of asking foreign diplomats difficult questions at social events.
A spokesperson for Foreign Affairs said they had noticed that studio guests being asked
questions by SABC TV presenters always answered in the affirmative.
We realised that teaching our diplomats that skill would be a worthwhile exercise in
the long run. Like the SABC presenters and talk show hosts, we often meet important people
who like to have their egos stroked, and, from our observations, nobody does this better
than the SABC.