Spearheads Cabbage Patch Kid AIDS Research
JOHANNESBURG - Health Minister Manto
Tshabalala-Msimang today launched a revolutionary new research program aimed at preventing
mother-to-child HIV transmission. The new program brings together the ministers
non-conventional use of herbal intervention in HIV, as well as state-of-the-art genetic
research. It will put South Africa in the forefront of human genetic experimentation and
the fight against AIDS. The Treatment Action Campaign (TAC) and various religious groups
have condemned the program as both risky and immoral.
The new research program will attempt to transplant the fetuses of HIV-infected mothers
into specially engineered cabbages. The program, known as the Cabbage Patch Kid Program,
will make use of certain species of African cabbage that are said to have potent
anti-retroviral powers. Read More>>
IFP Election Rally
Leaves Supporter Disappointed
ULUNDI Inkhatha Freedom Party supporter Moses Mkhize reportedly left a recent IFP
election rally none the better after not being able to understand a single
word during party leader Mangosotho Buthelezis speech. Mkhize said he was especially
disappointed since he had endured a two-hour bus ride in an overcrowded bus just to
see the Honourable Doctor Nkosi Buthelezi. Read More>>
Free State Traffic Cops Declare Zero Tolerance on
BETHLEHEM Officers of the Road Traffic Inspectorate (RTI) in the small town of
Bethlehem in the Free Sate have declared a policy of Zero Tolerance on small bribes.
Speaking at their monthly meeting at the local pub, officers expressed dismay and sadness
at the small bribes they had been receiving. I is gatvol with the bribes we is
getting these days. Sometime I cant even buy a bottle of Klippies with that
money! explained officer Johan Pretorius.
The officers said that bribes made up an integral part of their income, and that without
it some of them could not pay their bar tabs or DSTV subscriptions. We is now going
to do Zero Tolerance for the cheapskates. Especially those okes in BMWs. If its not
enough, we will double their fines. We shall show them they cant vok with
the Bethlehem RTI, said Pretorius.
Local girl regains self-respect after one-night stand
DURBAN Local girl Melissa Pillay has reportedly overcome her feelings of guilt and
shame after a one-night stand on Saturday. Afterwards I felt guilty about it because
its just not something good Indian girls are supposed to do. I know some of my girl
friends will look down on me now but I dont care. Half of them are sluts anyway.
Just cos nobody knows about their escapades doesnt make them all
innocent, said an indignant Pillay.
Pillay said that after a few drinks it just kinda happened and that she had
not planned it. She said that after doing her Gender Studies tutorial she realised that it
was important for women to be sexually liberated, and she didnt feel that bad about
it. In fact, said Pillay, I can see myself doing it again, but not like
on a regular basis, and not where everyone knows me.