Archived Article
South African Satire
Issue 12, May 2004
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Local Critic Appalled, Hurt By TV Nudity Levels
Speaking from the deckchair in front of his caravan/home Wednesday, Labuschagne said:
"It's getting completely out of hand. I watched Sex and the City for nearly the full
hour on Monday night waiting for some action – but nothing". This was despite
the warning label in the top right-hand corner of the screen expressly promising 'No-under
18' levels of (S)ex and (N)udity. "I am appalled. This is totally unacceptable",
Labuschagne ranted, "It's basically false advertising. If they say there's gonna be
some titties, I jolly well expect to see them".
"Sucks and the City is more like it. Sure they talk
about sex a lot, but that's all those damn women do - talk, talk, talk. And the old slutty
one says 'fuck' every now and again. But seriously, that's all. At best, this episode
should have gotten a 13L rating".
Labuschagne also expressed concern over the integrity of shows on the pay satellite
network:
"I was at a friends place last week and we turned to the Series channel where 'The
Chris Isaak' show had just started. It had a 16NL rating. So I'm thinking, great, no full
frontal, but at least a bit-o’-nip, you know? I'm all excited because this is satellite,
people pay for this stuff, so I'm expecting delivery. 45 minutes into the show,
there hasn't been so much as a low-cut top. It's like they put these age-restriction
warnings up just to get people to watch this crap. I should have cut my losses after half
an hour, but I kept thinking, DSTV wouldn't lie - the big payoff is just around they
corner. When the final credits started rolling I was gutted. I'm hurt that they would
deceive me like that. It's the same feeling I got when I lost my house betting everything
on black. After the seven reds in a row, you should realise that something is
cooked.”
"If I wanted an hour of drivel from angst-driven washed-up rock stars, I'd watch VH1
for sixty minutes. And if I wanted to put up with women crapping on about how men can't
give them orgasms while remaining clothed all-the-while, I'd watch fucking Oprah."
Even the late-night ‘steamy’ slots have Labuschagne unimpressed.
"On Saturday nights, they have 'Emannuelle', or 'Confessions Of A Lover' that carries
an R18 label. That R generally means there's going to be some action at least, but it's
pretty tame. After 10 minutes of girl-on-girl action in panties I kind of get bored and go
and read my gun magazines in the back".
When asked what TV broadcasters like the SABC and M-Net could do to improve the situation,
Labuschagne said, "I'm not necessarily asking for the quantity and explicitness of
nudity on public television to be increased, although that would be nice. All we want is a
level of integrity and a sense of values that says we can trust the networks again. At the
moment, they don't have my trust. If I see a show saying 18SLV, I'm not necessarily going
to watch it because of a promise of some hot chick gratuitously taking her clothes off and
have sex in the shower during a bloody battle for world-domination. I've been misled too
many times".
This article contained explicit language and mature themes and should not have been
read by children under the age of five.
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