CAPE TOWN - New National Party Leader Marthinus "Kortbroek"
van Schalkwyk announced at a press conference Monday that he would be releasing a new CD
entitled Koel Kortbroek Treffers (Vol 1).
Speaking from his party headquarters in Cape Town, van Schalkwyk said, "I can like to
forbetter my popularity amongst the young votering peoples. For this reason vizz-a-vizz in
dis regard and I can state quite unequatorially that my new CD what comes out in shops
next week will certainly make me once again the coollest-est politcian wiff the young
Prompted by a correspondent to explain why the youthful voting public was being targeted
in particular, Van Schalkwyk replied to the effect that the NNP did poorly amongst this
segment of the voting public in the recent general elections. The correspondent then felt
pressed to repeat her question.
On the nature of the CD's content, van Schalkwyk was more
forthcoming: "Koel Kortbroek Treffers (Vol 1) is containing all the songs
what I likes the most. The young peoples will see that I are extremely modern and trendly.
All the latest hits of Hip-Hopscotch and Eagle Bee is on there including songs from
McHammer and Vannilla Spice. I can't like to touch that, baby", van Schalkwyk beamed
No questions were immediately forthcoming, as it took a while for the assembled press to
realise that "Eagle Bee", was not a hitherto undiscovered form of nostalgia
rock, but rather the direct translation of the Afrikaans words 'arend bee' which is
presumably how Mr. van Schalkwyk would pronounce R&B.
While not traditionally considered the leading trendsetter in the South African music
industry, van Schalkwyk is hoping to change that with the release of his new album, and at
the same time make inroads into the as of yet, unexplored political territory - public
popularity. On this topic Kortbroek quipped, "If I get half as popular as that Simon
guy from Idols then I think this project would be a successful".
While that may be a tall order for the beleaguered NNP leader, there is at least
confidence amongst opposition parties that this new tactic will be as successful at
garnering support as all the other harebrained schemes that he has concocted in that last
Koel Kortbroek Treffers (Vol. 1) will be on shelves as of next Monday, and in
all likelihood remain there into the foreseeable future.