Archived Article
South African Satire
Issue 10, May 2004
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Prostitutes Excited At World Cup
CAPE TOWN – Prostitutes across the country have expressed their
delight at South Africa’s successful bid to host the soccer World Cup in 2010.
“We are going to make sure the players aren’t the only ones who score”,
said Angel, a local prostitute. Along with tourism and other sectors of the economy, the
prostitution industry is set to make massive profits with the influx of foreign soccer
fans.
Elise Badenhorst, who owns the ‘Oh Baby!’ massage parlour in Greenpoint, Cape
Town, said her experience of international conventions and large sporting events was that
they were great for business.
“People always say that when the cat’s away the
mouse will play. What they don’t know is that when the cat’s away, he may also
play”, said Badenhorst.
Many patrons of massage parlours and other such establishments do not share her
enthusiasm. Eric Jennings, speaking on condition of anonymity, voiced his concern at the
projected rise in prices slightly before, during, and after the World Cup. “Looks
like I’ll have to be well stocked with hand lotion for 2010”, said Jennings.
“I won’t be able to afford those dollar-based prices.”
Reliable sources have, however, since indicated that there may not be a hike in prices. It
is understood that the South African 2010 Bid Committee took note of the furore in Korea
when prostitutes there raised their prices and alienated many of their local men. In
response the committee have reportedly already sent high-level representatives to visit
the industry here and secure discounts for locals.
Male prostitutes have reacted even more positively than their female counterparts.
Siyabonga, or ‘The Shlong’, as he is known in the industry, said that “the
African penis is legendary throughout the world. Many foreign women, especially Europeans
are keen to enjoy it.”
“This will provide a big boost to my business. Even though whites pay the best, few
white women here are interested in trying my services. Now with the World Cup, I hope to
get many American and English women. They aren’t afraid of being with a male escort
when they’re away from home. They also treat me much better and pay really
well”, said The Shlong.
Badenhorst says that most of her peers, and even pimps in the informal sector of the
industry are “eager to provide a service that will have tourists cumming again and
returning for more.”
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